Article 402 of 403 Subject: csa2 chronicles From: pubpc1@library.ucla.edu Date: 1996/08/27 Message-Id: <4vvbab$eaa@uni.library.ucla.edu> Newsgroups: comp.sys.apple2 [More Headers] As the world turns...activity on comp.sys.apple2 buzzes. Let's drop in and have a look. Hey, a Macintosh user has just stumbled into the newsgroup! Hello, can somone tell me how to connect my ImageWriter II? I have an Apple IIci. Hey bozo, you're posting in the wrong newsgroup. (Nathan takes out his flamethrower...poof, Mac user is dead) Hi, I am eight years old looking for help on the Video Overlay Card. Hey kid, don't post until you learn some grammar. (Smokes the kid with his flamethrower) AppleWorks doesn't work for me. It seems like a primitive word processor, but I need a program that shows me the whole page. Will WordPerfect GS work? Where do I get it? WordPerfect GS has full screen preview. You need a desktop publishing program like GraphicWriter III. I publish a newsletter with AppleWorks. It is great if you use it in conjunction with AppleWorks GS. Yes, we publish a newsletter with AppleWorks GS. You idiot, no WordPerfect IIe doesn't do full screen zoom. NO APPLE II PROGRAM DOES! (Giddily zaps the guy with his flamethrower). Hey, someone wiped my site, Joe did you do that? You said I stole Ms. Pacman. You stole it. No I did not. Yes you did! Did not! Did too! Excuse me, I have to go to KansasFest. Yo, Turley, don't lie! (Tries to flame Dr. T). Nanananana! (Uses his ice gun to neutralize Nate's flamethrower). HEY! (Starts to flame everyone in sight). [For several eons, the land of comp.sys.apple2 is plunged into a darkness of fire and ice. One day, Joe Kohn returns...] Nathan, why don't you stop flaming... F*** off pal (smokes the guy) I only flame idiots and liars. When idiots like Dr. Tom post, we have a license to flame. It is not just me, Henrik Gudat and Joe Kohn flame everyone too. Hold on, Nathan, I don't flame. All I did was correct Dr. Tom since he did steal my disks. That's not flaming. In fact, this flame war has got to stop. [With Kohn back and the whole of csa2 behind the quest to stop the flame war, Dr. Tom makes an exit. Nathan Mates sulks away, having been told by grownups that he can't play with his flamethrower. Herik Gudat returns from vacation and laughs at rumors about his demise...] Has Nathan been telling lies that I left for good? (laugh) Yes, he tried to use you as ammunition for his stupid flame war. How pathetic. I'm going to write a program that parodies flamethrowing. Hopefully, people will realize how stupid it is. (runs the software) Hey this is fun. "Bozo Gudat" Here's one "Joe Cob" Cool, can't get enough of it "Bozo" ;) [Nathan Mates, watching this, jumps back in. Somehow, he has gotten hold of some old FAQs] I'm now the god of FAQs! What? Trying to flame me, huh (Smokes the guy). I thought you agreed not to flame? Hey, the others even have a program to flame, that gives me a LICENSE to do so! That's a parody, you fool. DON'T LIE! (Smoke) People should be made to read my FAQs before they are allowed to post. Like getting a driver's license. Bow to the god of FAQs, ME! People still drink and drive. What's this got to do with the Apple II? Shut up! (Smoke) Hey Nathan, some of the info in the FAQs is wrong. I didn't write them, I'm just god of them! So what good is it going to do to make them to read it? DON'T LIE! (Smokes him with glee!). Hello, I am a new user. I have just heard about an Apple IIgs. What is it? It is a computer. Read the reference manuals. It is NOT JUST A COMPUTER. It is a 16 bit CPU, Apple II compatible...(proceeds to quote the entire techinical reference manual). Gee Nathan, I was just simplifying to get the new user started. Simplify my ass, just TELL THE TRUTH! (Flames the poor guy) ... and let that be a lesson to you all. Unless you've got a degree in computer science from Cal Tech, don't bother posting here! What does all this data mean? Learn to read, fool! (Flame) Help! (Smoke) Good riddance. No one looking for help is welcome in this here newsgroup. Hello, I'm new... (Smoke). New users are not welcome! Is this the... F*** it! No one is welcome but me! (Starts to flame the whole csa2.) [For eons hence, csa2 looks like Hell with Satan Mates at the helm. The old newsgroup burns in a fire of hte as canisters of propane fuel his relentless flaming. "You know I have been stockpiling since I wrote my first resume...and I knew how to do it since I was a baby!"] Subject: csa2 chronicles: the next generation? From: pubpc1@library.ucla.edu Date: 1996/10/24 Message-Id: <54o1ff$ck8@uni.library.ucla.edu> Newsgroups: comp.sys.apple2 [More Headers] Captains log: We've been trapped here in the delta quadrant for over two years, inching our way back to Federation space. Recently, scans have indicated traces of a dilithium power signature, indicating alpha quadrant technology. We are moving to investigate. Mr. Kim, what have you got on that power signature? Still too far to tell, captain, but it is definitely a dilitium mater/antimater reaction, almost identical to our warp engines but hundreds of times more powerful. If these are engines, could ones that use an energy source of this magnitude take us back to Federation space? They could be using the power to create an artificial wormhole, a stable transwarp field, who knows? Mr. Kim, such conjectures have very little probability. I'm willing to try anything to get us home. Mr. Paris, take us in, best possible speed. Aye, setting course, warp 9. [The Federation Starship Voyager races through space toward the source of the power signature. As they go under way, Commander Chakotay falls into a trance...] Chakotay, what is it? I am having a vision quest...flames...burning... horrible... Captain, we are within range. Put it on screen. [An whirling multicolor image appears on the screen...] It's a wormhole! But where does it lead to? Scans indicate a stable wormhole to the alpha quadrant. Great! We're going home! Wait, I would advise launching a probe first to determine the intense dilitium signature. Good idea, Tuvok. Ensign Torres, ready a probe. Launching. Telemetry returning...Captain, the alpha quadrant has been destroyed! What? There was apparently a war shortly after we left. They were using Flamestations. My God, weapons of mass destruction! Flamestations were known to cause mass insanity, leading people to kill each other. Are there any survivors? Only a few. They are: Subject 1: Nathan Mates Species: Romulan Traits: Romulan computers are the best in the alpha quadrant. Romulans are known for their firery tempers and arrogant behavior. Nathan Mates was a most disagreeable Romulan. Subject 2: Charles Turley Species: Orion Traits: The Orions are pirates. They do not have clearly defined genders. Orions are known for their mean behavior as well. Subject 3: Joe Kohn Species: Ferengi Traits: The Ferengi are businessmen. They are out to make a buck, no matter how dirty the method. Joe Kohn was actually known to post advertisements about his paper based information exchange on the network more than once. [Gasp!] Subject 4: Sam Ismail Species: Klingon Traits: Aggressive behavior. Destructive. Known to be enemies with the Romulans. Subject 5: Endless Mike Species: Tellarian Traits: Piglike in appearance. Likes to insult people for no apparent reason. Apparently, this Tellarian destroyed the alpha quadrant by using Flamestations to project the idea that Apple II technology was worthless. What? Apple II technology is the basis of all alpha quadrant based computer systems. Our isolinear chips and bioneural processors crunch Apple II code. Wait a minute, what is an Apple II? [The viewscreen changed from the view of the wormhole to sickbay... the holographic doctor is speaking...] Let me explain. The Apple II was the first truly expandable personal computer, first developed in the 20th century. There were some shortlived attempts to replace it with inferior architectures: the IBM PCs and the Macs, for example, were used up to the 21st century and seemed to replace the Apple II until it was discovered that John Sculley and Bill Gates were trying to control the world. Sculley and Gates, they were as notorious as Khan was in the Eugenics war. Yes, they tried to control the world, but they failed. When intelligent computers began appearing, they could only be based on the superior design of the Apple II. The Knight Industries 2000, for example, was a late 20th century ground rover that crunched Applesoft BASIC code. I remember studying an archive that showed that, I think it was called "Knight Rider"... There was also the Cyberdyne Systems Terminator series cyborgs, which used Apple II assembly code. In the 23rd century, the breakthrough of isolinear chips by the Dystrom institute was based on an extended 65816 design. Even the advanced bioneural systems on Voyager are descended from Apple II stock. That is impressive. Let's go through the wormhole to the alpha quadrant, then. I'm afraid we can't do that. That idiot Endless Mike has flooded the alpha quadrant with anti-Apple II delusions. [Just then, Kes runs onto the bridge...] Please Captain, I'm already 2 years old. I'll be dead in less than eight years! OK, Ensign Torres, see if you can modulate the shield harmonics to reflect the anti-Apple II delusions. I could shield us for five hours, but then we would be succeptible. Mr. Paris, set shields to maximum and take us through the wormhole... [Voyager pops back to the alpha quadrant, aka comp.sys.apple2. Scenes of destruction everywhere...a lone shuttle appears, it is crippled.] Beam the survivors on board. Energizing...its Nathan Mates, Joe Kohn, Charles Turley and Sam Ismail. This is the first time I've seen a Romulan, a Ferengi, an Orion, and a Klingon working together. We decided to make peace to fight Endless Mike. He sucked away profits. Nothing to pirate. He has less honor than even Nathan Mates. The enemy of my enemy is my friend. [Just then, Voyager is attacked, fried circuits crackle, smoke is everywhere...] Damage report! It is bad. My vision quest predicted this. Endless Mike has flamed our bioneural gel packs. We are running on emergency power only. He's moving in for the kill. Torres, we need phasers NOW. We are short four bioneural gel packs. We can't charge up the main phaser couplings without them. Wait, Nate, Sam, Charlie, and I each have an Apple IIgs. They can be re-coded to perform the functions of the gel packs. That's right, bioneural circuits are based on Apple II design! But how can we fool him to buy the time for the modifications? Let me speak to the fool. I can spin yarns that will drive him crazy. Comm link open. 4D sound is achieved by harmonizing the soul... No...no more torture...no... [Dr. Tom continues to speak of his VAMPs readme file while Endless Mike screams in the background...] Captain, you have phasers! Lock on phasers, FIRE! [Endless Mike's ship begins to grow red-hot...his Flamestations spits out increasingly vulgar flames...Voyager is rocked, shields buckling...] We can't hold out much longer. Photon torpedoes! Autolock is out, aiming manually, torpedoes away... [Big explosion, Endless Mike is destroyed!] Now that there is peace, let's rebuild comp.sys.apple2. I hope this shows how working together can accomplish great things. Apple II Forever! Subject: csa2 chronicles: review From: pubpc1@library.ucla.edu Date: 1996/10/24 Message-Id: <54on36$lro@uni.library.ucla.edu> Newsgroups: comp.sys.apple2 [More Headers] The previous installments of csa2 chronicles have been paradies of the silly flame war that has been going on for the past several months. This installment includes a review. Recently, the most interesting news in csa2 turned out to be the release of Medley as freeware. Review of Medley Medley is a full-featured Apple IIGS word processor that was discontinued several years ago. It has recently been released as freeware by the publisher, Milliken Publishing. The first thing that is noticeable when using the program is that it is first and foremost a word processor. It is not appropriate to compare Medley to desktop publishing software such as PageMaker, GraphicWriter, or even the AppleWorks GS page layout module. The program simply does not work this way. Instead, it is a robust word processor with integrated paint/draw and some page layout abilities. It shares more with WordPerfect or Microsoft Word for Windows than with a "grounds up" DTP program. If word processing power is what you want, Medley is hard to beat. In the February 1990 issue of InCider, Medley was praised as being second in the features department only to WordPerfect for the GS. WordPerfect GS, however, does not support GS/OS printer drivers, GS fonts, TrueType fonts under Pointless, or WYSIWYG mixed graphics and text on display as well as on paper. Medley does all of the above. Power WP users will appreciate the large selection of features that put lesser word processors like AppleWorks GS to shame. Page numbers can be put in selected pages, in different positions and with different styles. Gutters that provide space for binding is supported. Instead of a limited header/footer function, Medley supports freeform Global Page Elements which can be graphics and text appearing anywhere on the page, on every page, or on selected pages. Standard APF or screen format SHR graphics of any shape can be inserted into text, which then wraps around it, not just supporting square graphics frames, but also irregular ones. Leading is supported, not only the standard one, one and a half, and double space type, but fractional increments. Kerning (space between letters) is also variable and adjustable. The space between paragraphs may be independently adjusted. Columns are easily created. Editing features allow independent adjustment of line, paragraph, or document. How columns are created demonstrates that Medley is a word processor first and a DTP program only on the side. You select the rectangular tool from the menu and then draw a thin rectangle "through" the text straight down the middle. The automatic text wrap feature for graphics objects then causes the text to form into columns around the rectangle. On the paint/draw side, the selection of tools is impressive. You have your standard oval and rectangle tools, a polygon tool, etc., and if you prefer clipart, that too is available on the clipart disk. There are 48 brushes to choose from, as well as a spray paint tool. Or you can import your favorite graphics. You can also change the display palette to grayscale to better see how the page will print on a regular black and white printer (Medley does support color printing on a color capable printer). Medley supports import of AppleWorks 3.0 or ASCII word processor files directly. AppleWorks 3.0 word processor files will have formatting intact. However, latter versions of AppleWorks will pose a problem. Unfortunately, the freeware distribution of Medley does not include the spelling checker and thesaurus. These are the two most powerful features of the program. The spelling checker is intelligent and operates in two modes. You can have it check your spelling at the end of text input or, in spell check mode, it will catch you when it encounters a word it does not recognize (sort of like having someone look over your shoulder when typing). The thesaurus is context aware, meaning that it displays not just a single list of synonyms, but synonyms according to tense, part of speech, and number. A small nit-pick is that the manual is not included. Medley is such a powerful and complex word processor that without the manual, users may never tap into all the features of the program. It would be ideal if, Milliken Publishing granting permission, the manual can be scanned and distributed with the program. Also, the archive that the program is distributed in apparently has the program dragged onto the desktop. The first time, I thought the disk didn't have the program and had to verify that it was there with the GS/OS program selector and then deleting the Finder.Data and Finder.Root files. Knowing now that the file was on the desktop, this sounds stupid, but if a user's desktop is cluttered, the program icon can easily be overlooked. In conclusion, Medley is an excellent freeware word processor that rivals WordPerfect in features. It is the only currently available GS word processor to be able to easily mix text with graphics, plus it has advanced word processing features that may be just what many GS users are looking for (ones that WordPerfect or Word users on other platforms have come to expect). It is not a replacement for GraphicWriter III v2.0 or the AppleWorks GS page layout module, however. It is almost a replacement for the AppleWorks GS word processor - except that, lacking the spelling checker and thesaurus, it is not complete. Here is a challenge to the Apple II community: make the Medley spelling checker and thesaurus available. If it takes making it commercial, so be it. If it can be done free, then great! If another dictionary and thesaurus, like that of AppleWorks GS, can be used instead (a challenge to programmers?), even better. Recommendation: Get Medley today! It is free! From: technoid@prairienet.org (Deven D. Atkinson) Reply-To: technoid@prairienet.org (Deven D. Atkinson) Newsgroups: comp.sys.apple2 Subject: csa2 chronicles: the final chapter Date: 27 Sep 1996 17:21:09 GMT Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana Message-ID: <52h2e5$rf8@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu> Attempt at humor follows. Forgive me. ================ Ash drifts in ever widening circles. The fickle wind blows it across the barren landscape only to suddenly drop it haphazardly on the ground. A new gust lifts a devil from the ash and starts it drifting in ever widening circles. He stands, as if a stranger. In his heart he knows that this is the familiar resting place that brought relaxation, thoughtful discourse, and a sense of family. There is nothing to stop the wind from rending his soul. Nothing to stop it from fanning his anger into blasting gouts of fire that would dwarf the explosion of Mt. St. Helen's. Nothing -- save the lack of fuel beyond his burning chest. There is nothing but ash. Nothing will burn for his anger. The ash has already been consumed by those that fed his anger. The wind whistles a mocking tune and tugs at the flame within him, dragging him down a slope and up another rise. Looking about he still sees nothing but sterile ash. Closing his eyes and slumping to the ground he abandons the thought of vengeance on those who have done this harm. The flame within him cools. Eventually it is smothered by a profound sadness. Depressed and exhausted he drifts to sleep. He wakes to the shaking of his shoulder. "Is it always like this here?" asked a muffled voice. He wipes at the grit in his eyes and peers at the space-suited figure standing above him. "Like what?" "Dead. Unproductive. Cause if it is I am out of here." "It use to be beautiful here, there still may be some left." The suited figure spun in a lazy circle, arm outstretched indicating the landscape around them. "Where? And if there is something good here what is to stop it from being torched by the fire bugs that are all around?" He struggles to his feet, with the help of the suited figure. A small mean spirited bug leaps from the ash and throws flame at them. "That's it. I'm gone. I was going to suggest that my kid's school do a field trip here. Not now." The suited figure turns and lopes off toward the horizon without looking back. Ignoring the fire bug's attempts to set his shoe on fire, he turns and looks at the landscape one last time. He has decided to follow the suited figure out of this place. Off in the distance he sees a flash, as if sunlight was reflecting off a shiny surface. Someone must be out there. "Perhaps they need help getting out of here," he thinks as he walks toward the light. By the time he reached the flashing light, the fire bug had given up trying to set him on fire. A computer monitor, its screen glinting in the sun had led him here. Two figures stood over the case of an open computer. One was explaining something. One was listening. When he drew near, the Listener was thanking the Explainer -- enthusiastically pumping the other man's hand. He waved, but couldn't get either person's attention. The Explainer looked up when his footsteps crunched on the nearby cinders. "Well, Hello!" He stopped beside the open computer. "Hi, who was that?" The Explainer turned to the departing Listener, "Him? Just a lurker with some problems." "What are you doing here?" "Just planting a few seeds. I could use some help." -- Kind Regards, Deven D. Atkinson technoid@prairienet.org <*>